Unforgivable Sinner
by Cali
Summary: This cursed life is mine...


__

Kinda loose your sense of time,  
'cause the days don't matter no more.  
All the feelings that you hide,  
gonna tear you up inside.  
You hope she knows you tried.  
Follows you around all day,   
and you wake up soaking wet.  
'Cause between this world and eternity,  
there is a face you hope to see.

Remus Lupin drank yet another glass of wine. He was tired, but he couldn't sleep.   
That damn moon.  
Almost full, it hung there, making him think about the things that had been, the friends he had had, and the love he never got to feel.

Genuivere....

Her name was like a whisper in the wind, and as the sound of it once made him happy, now, all he could feel was sorrow, despair, and sadness.  
He looked at the old photography he kept on his desk.  
It was taken on the day of their graduation, and they were all wearing their scarlet, Gryffindor robes. Lily hugging James, Sirius almost choking Peter, while Arabella was tickling him. And there, in the centre of the picture, himself, holding hands with the girl he loved.  
He looked away from the picture, knowing he was to tired to think of them.  
Yet, his eyes kept staring at it.  
They had all been so happy....

__

You know where you sent her,  
you should know where you are.  
You're trying to ease off,  
but you know you won't come far.  
Now she's up there,  
sings like an angel,  
but you can't hear those words.  
And now she's up there, sings like an angel.  
Unforgivable sinner...

He stood up. He couldn't just sit there, doing nothing.  
He got his cloak, and went outside, not knowing entirely why.  
The mild, midnight air reminded him of the warmth he had felt when together with her, and the sound of the little river nearby, was like her laughter.  
It was his fault she was gone.  
If she hadn't jumped in front of him that cursed day three years ago, she would still be alive, and so would he. He had would have been strong enough to handle the crucatius curse.   
She hadn't.

__

You've been walking around in tears,  
no answers are there to get.  
You won't ever be the same,  
someone cries and you're too blame.  
Struggling with the pain inside,  
sorrows you'll defeat.  
The picture you see,  
it won't disappear,  
nor unpleasant dreams   
or her voice you hear.

He kept on walking. He was getting to the outskirts of the small town now, and the small road he was following, went by the riverside.   
She wasn't the only one who was gone...  
Lily and James.  
The very images of life and love, two of his best friends.  
Brutally killed.  
Betrayed by the man they trust, the traitor.  
Remus could no longer think of him with his name, it hurt to much.  
In his mind, Sirius was dead too.  
Just like James. Just like Lily. Just like Peter. Just like Genuivere.

__

You know where you sent her,  
you should know where you are.  
You're trying to ease of,  
but you know you won't come far.  
And now she's up there,  
seems like an angel,  
but you can't hear those words.  
And now she's up there, seems like an angel.  
Unforgivable sinner...

It was unfair!  
How such kind and loving people had been killed!  
How he had been left with the sorrow, with the pain.  
Now, he was alone, the only Marauder.  
How was he going to live through, without his friends, his love?  
He wasn't sure if he could.  
As he walked the bridge over the river, it hit him:  
He didn't have to.

He climbed onto the edge of the bridge.  
Here, the water was no longer silent and slow, but wild and foaming.  
He could hear it calling him, telling him to do it, telling him to jump.  
He wasn't sure what to do.  
If he jumped now, he could join his friends, and didn't have to be alone anymore.

__

Maybe one time lost,  
but now you're found.  
Stand right up before  
you hit the ground.  
Hit the ground.

And then, a thought flashed his mind.  
Harry.  
If he were to go away now, who would tell Harry about his parents?  
The Marauders?  
The blessed life they once had lived?  
And who would tell him about the prophecy, the prophecy spoken years ago, the reason his mother and father died?  
No.

He silently climbed off the edge, and back at the bridge  
Remus straightened up, and looked around.  
He would live through this.  
Even if it was only for Harry.  
He would live.

A/N: I accidentally deleted it, so I had to upload it again. Yes, I know I've done Remus-angst before, but I just had to write another one. Please R&R! Pretty Please!  
Disclaimer: In this story, the only thing I own, is Genuivere. The whole Potter Gang + Harry and Hogwarts belong to JK Rowling.  
The song * Unforgivable Sinner * belongs Lene Marlin, one of the best singers in the world.


End file.
